Monday, June 13, 2011

Memories, Pressed Between the Pages of My Mind

From Milligan Orientation

Well, Rebecca went to college orientation this weekend, so I guess it's about time that I wrote a post about her graduation. I've been doing quite a lot of thinking about this "end of an era" type of feeling that I have - and this sense of urgency to make the most of the time I have left with all of my kids.

First of all, I want to share a couple of scriptures that come to my mind. The first one is a little verse about Mary that has always captured my attention -

Luke 1:19 says "But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart."

Mary did not have a camera or a scrapbook or a blog (can you imagine if she had?), but I believe we are kindred spirits when it comes to memories. I treasure the time I have had so far with Rebecca, and I love to ponder what God is doing in her life and what God has taught me through being her Mom.

Sometimes I think it's easy for me to get to caught up in memories and to make an idol of the past. I have to also keep in mind this other verse from Eccl. 7:10, "Do not say, 'Why were the old days better than these?' For there is no wisdom in this question."

It's not wise to live in the past because it robs us from the experience of the present.

As much as I enjoyed my little Rebecca and treasure those memories,

From small beginnings

I wouldn't want her back because I would miss the Rebecca that I have now.

From Graduation

Thankfully, graduation and getting ready for college is such a busy season that I don't have time to wallow in memories (which is probably unhealthy anyway), but I have had moments to ponder. Even the making of Rebecca's memory table was a memory in itself. I love it how Noah wanted to help.

I have truly loved the privilege of teaching Rebecca. I sat by her on the couch as she learned to read, I sat by her on the piano bench teaching her to play, and I even floated in the water until my fingers were wrinkly as she learned to waterski (got to give credit to Dad for that one, though). I taught her to sew, with my own struggles following a pattern, and then she figured out she didn't even need a pattern and could make up her own designs!

I'm grateful that God sent along teachers and experiences for things I couldn't have taught her. Rebecca had some wonderful art teachers and theater directors. I'm so glad for the extra time that homeschooling gave her to pursue those passions.

But I'm mostly glad for the extra time that homeschooling gave us to have extended conversations and long walks. This time has bonded us together in a way that has blessed us both.

Now it's time for Rebecca to move on to her next experience, and I'm really excited for her. In fact, Terry has accused me of living vicariously through Rebecca on more than one occasion. From Websters,

vicarious: experienced or realized through imaginative or sympathetic participation in the experience of another

Yes, I admit it's true! I have shared her experiences and will continue to do so. However, that doesn't meant that I want her to live her life to please me or that she has to tell me every.single.detail. My prayer is that she will live her life to please the Lord and that He will continue to bless us with a friendship that will only deepen through the years.

I'm so glad she didn't listen to me when I said "Wheaton's a great school! You should really consider it." I'm glad that her "going off to college" involves just a twenty minute drive. It makes for an easier transition for both of us.


Rebecca S. said...

Love you, mom! :)

Christine said...

What great memories! We've been going through the same emotions with our son who graduated two days ago. It truly is amazing how fast they grow up!

Have a great week.